What's Love Gotta Do With It?

It's been a long time that you've taken part in something special, something that has meaning, something you invest most of your life in; and you hope you will gain more from it. I mean take a relationship between a guy and a girl; they are young..still have the rest of their lives to explore and experience, but this one thing they have between them, what they share and hold together like glass that needs to be handled with care, otherwise if dropped; will shatter and become broken, baring consequences, such as someone getting hurt, both emotionally; if that glass was precious and physically; if that glass was sharp, sharp enough to injure. What they hold is Love. This connects and binds them to become one. And One is Whole. We all know a little about fractions and we know that a 1/2 plus another 1/2 equals 1. The female is one half, the male is the other half. So they both must make the effort to keep this puzzle whole and stable. Now when we do start a new thing that we are interested in very much..we enjoy it right? It's like the 'honeymoon' period as some call it. We make the most of it, we dedicate our time, our effort, our love that means something to us and so we put our all into it. It then seems we are progressing somewhere. Somewhere stronger and better. Relationships last if both people keep to the passion they had at the start. The passion they 'meant' for one another during the 'honeymoon' period. It shouldn't be hard work, it should just come naturally, because you entered into this whole affair with this passion; the passion that created this union, the union of real love. So it doesn't make sense to me, when this passion begins to die. It begins to weather away; to peel away and lose its bright colours and energy. Like a rose withering away. It's had its time. No longer to be kept alive. It's useless now. I know a lady who entered a relationship, because she thought that this was the beginning of a new thing. To mature her, to rescue her, to show her what true love was. And she found this with this guy she met. They went through that 'honeymoon' period; with bright colours, joy, energy, real passion; passion that changed who she was literally. She gave up a lot for this guy. She literally gave herself to this man. She loves him she says. But whats love gotta do with it, if the 'passion' isn't there anymore? The 'honeymoon' period is over and the skies are beginning to turn grey. Where did the love go? I mean if you are in a relationship, I'm thinking the 'love' is shared between the two halves, and these two halves have to make the effortless effort to keep whole. But it seems like this lady I know, is just a half, missing her other half. She does not feel whole anymore, because the things she expects from their love, doesn't really exist anymore. The other half doesn't want to make an effort anymore, he is now emotionally walking far away gradually. Leaving her to search for where that 'passion' wandered off to. Because that passion kept her alive. She doesn't wanna die emotionally; but he doesn't realise that he's pushing her to the edge further and further, while she tries so hard to find passion, even if it means elsewhere..
When you put your heart, soul and body into something, its hard to pull away, to let it go. Because you've built yourself so far into it and it will take a lot to undo it. But if its hurting you and you are losing yourself, you don't know what to think anymore, should you just cover it up and make excuses, like this lady putting love as the mask? Or should you just let go, breathe and be free? Be true to yourself.

'You're Buttaz Anyway!'

Picture this. Pretty girl is walking down the road, nice figure, nice skin complexion, nice vibe, nice style. Minding her OWN business. On the way to her final destination. Lovely day it is for her really. Oh..but wait [sigh]. There's a guy lurking about. Obviously has nothing else to do with his time..but to 'jam' on road, waiting for someone to prey on. He now sees this pretty girl walking by, by herself, again, minding her own business. But 'guy' thinks he should go and disturb her...why? What's his agenda? Remember HE decided to approach HER, who was by the way...MINDING HER OWN BUSINESS! So OK, he starts to approach her:
GUY: Oi, Excuse Me, Can I Talk To You For A Minute?
GIRL: [Continues Walking] I'm Kinda In A Hurry And I Don't Really Talk To Strangers!
GUY: Lemme Just Talk To You For ONE Minute! [Trying To Catch Up With Girl]
GIRL: Could You Just Leave Me Alone Please!
GUY: KMT! Whatever Man!...YOU'RE BUTTAZ ANYWAY! [Walks Away, Cursing..]

Erm, yeah I guess the majority of you girls don't really have to TRY and picture that scene, because it's probably happened to you before! If it hasn't then i think you get the drift of the scene. OK, First off, i'm not trying to 'boy' any guy out there. I mean not all guys are like that. By 'THAT', I mean a 'sore-loser'! A bit harsh, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be nice ! Before I tell you what i mean...what exactly is the meaning of 'Buttaz'? Two definitions that I found on the web were:

1. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/butters : British slang for unattractive, ugly or repulsive.
...Wow, REPULSIVE you know...I though I was harsh.



2. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081210124625AA2wM1x : It comes from 'she really has a great body, but her face is ugly'...
...That's half compliment, half RUDE!




So from those two definitions off the web, you can see that it mainly means ugly. But in the real world, if you decide someone is ugly...that usually means you don't find them attractive, right? So from that little scene I created at the top, when I highlighted that the GUY approached the GIRL, in this situation, he was approaching her with the intention, the motive to try and get her number, to try and chat her up [which I've talked about before- see previous posts before]. So therefore, he obviously thought this girl was 'pretty', maybe even beautiful, for him to try and get her number. And I don't want you to think that i think you're stupid, but isn't pretty the opposite of 'ugly'? I just want you to see my point here. AND Just to remind you, the girl WAS minding her own business! So it annoys me when the girl practically shows no interest, and the guy replies with 'YOU'RE BUTTAZ ANYWAY!' Gosh, is it by force that she likes you?! It is NOT her fault that she does not find you attractive, it is not her fault that you are not her type, and I think she made that very clear to you when she didn't stop and continued minding her own business. So why do you have to be a sore-loser and spit lies to her saying she's buttaz anyway? If she was buttaz ANYWAY [meaning 'in the first place' 'from when you set eyes on her', WHY DID YOU APPROACH HER, asking to talk to her? I mean you're confusing yourself really. I think guys who save themselves with these 4 words are insecure: unconfident, uncertain, defenseless, vulnerable... In my words, they feel like they've just been shut down! They weren't expecting such a turn-out. They thought they'd be successful in their mission,but unfortunately their mission failed. So they're probably in shock and maybe 'upset' aww. So their ONLY defence is to take it out on the girl, making it seem like shes the problem anyway, like the girl tried it, but really you tried it! And failed miserably..harsh...I KNOW!

But hey, it's not the end of the world...at the end of the day, that girl you called buttaz WILL continue with her life, like you never existed in the first place...and you'll still be beating yourself up. But you've got to realise that:
1] Just because a girl turns you down...doesn't mean you should get angry, you're just not her type
2] There ARE other girls out there that may find you attractive
3] Maybe your approach ain't right e.g. approaching the girl from the roadside, makes you look a little 'waste'
4] MANNERS! Approach them politely and don't get all in their faces. You know, a HELLO and HOW ARE YOU? won't go amiss, with a nice smile [especially if you've got dimples.. UTILISE them! =]
5] You've got to treat them like the lady they are and if you fail, then just move on in life...don't curse at them, shouting obscenities and lies, it just makes you look 'sorry'!
6] If you DO approach them politely and what not and the girl replies harshly and un-ladylike, then she wasn't worth your time, because she's only interested in herself and you won't get anywhere with that! Trust me!

So guys, them 4 words aren't necessary, especially when its a lie! Don't be a cry baby...be a wise man! Walk away, Move on and Try harder!

Don't Judge Me!

Ever felt like you were in a courtroom..all eyes on you? Members of the jury thinking all sorts, about to decide your fate in an hour or a few minutes? The judge staring down at you, waiting to bang the life out of you with his big gavel? Well, I actually think you don't really need to be in a courtroom to feel like you are being 'judged'. There is a jury wherever you go, even though the ages run from 18-60 years old to be a juror in the courtroom, the jury outside the courtroom come in all sizes, ages, male or female; whatever ethnic background you can think off. They're everywhere. People JUDGE others too quickly..without a blink of an eye, without a heart beat, without a considered thought in mind. It's their opinion, or nothing. And as far as they are concerned, that's just the way it is.

People judge in all kinds of situations that happpen in everyday life. Whether it's something they see a friend doing that they disapprove off, whether it's something they've watched on TV or even in their own home. I've also noticed 'sly judging' in people's status' on facebook. Usually to do with 'Religion'..If you're not doing this and you're doing that, and your listening to this, but not listening to that and your not like them, then you are all of a sudden doomed and there is no hope for you. Ok, I understand that there are consequences to certain things you do, but why do you have to put them down even more, driving them to think they are worthless, there is no point in life, because God isn't going to forgive them and what not. No! You weren't put on earth to decide each other's fate. Like I keep saying, no one is perfect. But what we MUST do is stay positive for each other, hoping to God that they do better for themselves and ask for God's guidance in their lives. That's it! Don't fast up your mouths and conclude on someone else's life. Like it says in the Bible 'If you are without sin, then cast the first stone' I don't want to preach at you, but I would like to tell you truth and say that I don't think anyone should even attempt to raise their hands and try and throw that stone, because you'd be calling yourself a 'hypocrite'. I know it's not easy to keep quiet and not state your opinion. Because even me, I have my opinions, but i try so hard to keep it to myself, because I'm not exactly an angel..

All these programmes on TV as well, like Maury, Jerry Springer, Ricky, Sally Jessy Raphael; their audiences make me laugh, when they're all booing, then clapping, then shouting obscenities and what not, like they haven't done anything not to be proud off. I'm sure they've been in worst situtions or still are, but yet they have time to boo others on a TV show? Hmmm..

All I'm saying is think, ponder on the situation at hand first, before parting your lips to say anything negative. What you say may have a BIG impact on the person you're talking about, and sometimes, it isn't good. Keep your judgeful eye to yourself and leave it to someone who is qualified to do so.