Here's a question you hear ALL the time...CAN GUYS AND GIRLS JUST BE FRIENDS? My answer to this was always 'yeah of course!', NOW I only think this is partly true. But then I guess it depends on the situation concerning both of you. How you know each other? Your past, present and future? And your REAL feelings towards each other. Things can get real complicated between a guy and a girl, when both people are not honest with each other. And yes, there is always a reason as to why people can not open up to each other, this makes it even more difficult and make you question yourself....'WHERE DO I STAND?' There are quite a few scenarios in this case:1. You and your ex broke up like 5 months ago, but find that you're still close and every now and then flirting occurs or you just find that you guys really talk a lot. Does that mean- you still have feelings for each other? there's a chance you may still get back together? or you just happen to be really friendly with each other, because you know each other so well?
2. You met a guy through your friend and you find that you guys get on so well and you have a lot in common. You do a lot of things together and talk like all the time. What's going on you think? Does that mean- you like him/her more than a friend? you only see him/her as a friend but you have a feeling that they want more? are we secretly going out?
3. You're close friends with this girl/guy and you've developed feelings for this person and you have a feeling they feel the same way too, only thing is...they're in a relationship. Does that mean- he or she is likely to confess to their feelings, if any? their relationship isn't going well at all? you're reading into things too much? you feel like you're the bit on the side?
WHERE EXACTLY DO YOU STAND? It's very frustrating isn't it!
The funny thing is if you do not have feelings for someone, it's not as hard to tell that person as much as it is to tell them you DO have feelings for them. It becomes a misery when you pretend you know where you stand with this particular person, especially if you do have feelings for them and you want more, but because you are not sure if they feel the same way too, there's no progression and you're stuck in that miserable spot! AND then to make it worse, you won't do anything about it; you become a mute, because you don't want to 'ruin' things...which things are you ruining? A good friendship? To be honest; it really isn't a good friendship, because you are pretending that things are okay, that other person may also be pretending and you both may be holding back something great. If you're both friends, you should be able to communicate effectively with each other, able to share feelings and emotions, without there being any fear of the friendship ending. If the friendship ends, maybe it was supposed to; after all 'there is a time and purpose for everything'!
A friendship can be defined as: 'the cooperative and supportive relationship between people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis'. As far as I'm concerned; this confusion of where you stand is a time of need that needs to be addressed. You can't be living in a world of 'what if'. You can not help the way you feel and once you confess these feelings, you may find a burden has been lifted off your shoulder. If you do not know where you stand, it really isn't fair on you; because for all you know your 'supposed' friend could be leading you on; making you think there is something more. The sooner you know your grounds, the better.
I'm sure we've all been there...having feelings for someone and not being able to tell them for whatever reason. It gets depressing after a while, because all you're thinking about is that person and 'what could be?' You get that feeling that it'll be great if you two were together and you just wish that other person could see it too. Until things are out in the open, you feel like you're at a stand-still; but you don't exactly know where you're standing. Is it nearer to the side you wish for, or the opposite? Besides, standing in a spot for ages gets tiring after a while. After a while you get tired of standing, your feet start to hurt and you just want your bottom to hit a nice comfy chair, so that your feet can rest and you feel relaxed. If you don't put your feelings out there, your feet are going to ache; and what's worse; you don't even know what grounds your on!
I think we need to stop being afraid, open up our feelings and know that its here, that we stand.
Again...can soo relate to stuff you cover in your blogs :)
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