You made a fool of me. In fact; I’m a fool for allowing you to make a fool out of me. I feel what I felt you were incapable of making me feel. Hurt. Used. Wasted. Never did I think I’d see the day. An angel is what I thought you were. Secure and at peace is how I felt whenever I was around you. I actually believed in the idea of an honest and humble gentleman. I thought there was hope. I thought I’d found one of the ten per cent; the rare trustworthy beings on this earth. You came across as though you’d never hurt a fly; not even a tug at its wing; like you admired God’s creation and respected it with great respect. What I didn’t know was that you had an inkling of evil running through your veins, selfishness for a brain, and coward shouting and rumbling from your stomach. I was blinded by the sweetest smile you’d give me; like I was the only girl who could make you smile like that, that smile that made me feel I did something right, that smile that made me do things I’d never do for anyone else. Never. I was deafened by your charming advances, them out-of-this-world compliments, your lame cries for help. I even shouted from the roof tops your praises, heck I sang them everywhere and any time I could. Your name was famous on the stage of my tongue. I talked about you like there was no tomorrow; even though my friends and family weren’t big fans. At all. But like the loyal friend I was, I idiotically and ignorantly put you first. Maybe I was brainwashed. Why could I not see what others were painfully trying to tell me? Was I that naive? You MADE me believe that we had something special, something unique, something exciting. You MADE me feel good about myself. You frigging MADE me...fall in love with you. And when you have love, love changes things. I guess it changed my senses. I tasted your humility, I heard your sincerity, I smelt your goodness, I saw your kindness, I felt your love. My senses changed, to see the greatness in you. I was deceived. Terribly. I was embarrassed. Shamefully. My time an effort was wasted. Without an inkling of a doubt. I laugh; because I haven’t even begun to tell you how I feel. I cry; because I don’t want this to be the way I feel. I am hurt DEEPLY by your actions, by your reactions. The hurt I feel is more than the scraping of nails into my brown African skin, more than the menstrual womanly pains I receive every 30 bleeding days, more than the swollen painful pulsating lymph nodes in my neck during tonsillitis. You literally tore my heart out, toyed with it, experimented with it, took advantage of it and didn’t bother to amend and put it back in its rightful place. You made me look like the witch who tried to give you a poison apple. Because of you, I have NO trust in men; it’s hard to believe that any guy would actually want me, in my mind it’s impossible, because of you, I feel like all eyes are judging me and laughing at my expense. You have belittled me and I have lost the little respect I have for myself. I have wasted my love on you.
