Black Girl Syndrome [BGS]

I apologise, but this issue right here makes my blood boil! OK so just to make it clear; this is NOT a racial post, its just I've only noticed it amongst these ones! But if you as a girl can relate, then alright cooool! So what am I even on about huh? I'm talking about the Black Girl Syndrome [BGS]. But what does this entail you ask? Well let's get into it shall we..

So, for me personally, I've noticed something strange amongst black girls... OK, so maybe I'm walking down the road with my fellow girls that I normally hang with, you know just minding our own business, having a good time in life. Strolling and just having a laugh with each other. On our walk down the road, obviously we ain't the only ones to pass through, we're passing all sorts of people, from different backgrounds, different ages, different occupations, different genders, different relationships, and its all good in the hood, no beef [no arguements or fights] EVERYONE is just going on about their business really on a normal day. Oh but then, like me, and my two other girls, we happen to pass by three other black girls, who look roughly the same age as us, maybe one or two share the same background as us, who knows? They were probably going on about their business too like we were, you know just a normal average day for each of us. So while we are passing each other, its like we end up in slow motion. What starts of this slow motion? The LOOK...The PIC [Pause In Conversation]...The MUMBLES N WHISPERS...That AWKWARD MOMENT! These FOUR elements make up the Black Girl Syndrome! And don't forget people, we were passing each other by, that takes what, like 3 or 4 seconds maybe? Let's just sat a LOT of things can happen in those few seconds!

So basically, I'm baffled as to why Black girls like to intimidate each other with a few gestures that look spiteful? WHY? Why must there be competition, why must there be hate, why must there be sly beef? The look consists of a facial expression that either says 'even though I just met you, I just don't like you' or 'I'm the best thing that ever happened to mankind..who are you though?' or 'I think I'm high and above, and you're just not in my league' or sometimes the girl can be mistaken 'I swear she just screwed me??' ERM maybe I had something in my eye... The PIC is basically self-explanatory; it actually links in with the awkward moment or rather creates the awkward moment. Both groups are talking and all of a sudden in the pass-by, everyone's comments come to a halt. It comes to a halt from their mouths, but in reality, a new conversation starts in each girls minds; they are building a portfolio of what they see and think of each other, so that when the pass-by is finished, they can then feedback to their girls what they witnessed. It's pretty ridiculous and contagious and this is why it is the Black Girl Syndrome. The Mumbles n Whispers, are just the thoughts that can't wait for the pass-by to finish and the element that makes it obvious that you're being assessed and talked about.

But what causes this BGS? My answer: I DON'T KNOW. I think Black girls are just on guard every time, before someone else can cuss me, they need to know that I'm ready for them kinda thing. It's like a silent battle...'You don't know about me!' But it's completely and utterly STUPID. We don't know each other, YET you feel the need to hate me and try and intimidate me? This is one reason why people get hurt, because UNNECESSARY beef is created through intimidation and unreasonable hate. Come on girls, I really don't know why we all can't get along. Why must we fight quietly? Some of you reading this might be thinking 'what is she talking about? I'm not like that and I don't see it..' but in reality, hun it does actually happen!

Especially, if we are in different crowds. There's the bate ones; the ones who seem popular, because they are everywhere, loud and seem to know EVERYONE! Then there's the ones who keep to themselves, so seem a bit anti-social, but really just like to be reserved. Everyone has their own character. Don't pick it up as a weapon against you, that's just the way they are, maybe its high time you accepted it and not use your OWN character as intimidation. There'll be peace of mind if everyone just accepts people the way they are. This BGS thing is especially not good for girls who have low self-esteem and are just very self-conscious. Once they get that BGS vibe, that person just feels more low about themselves than usual. It changes ones perception about themselves and this limits progression in life. It's not a good look.

So, basically, and in fact its a message to ALL girls, don't make quick judgements about each other, stop trying to intimidate each other, stop thinking you're prettier and she's ugly, because we were all created in God's image, and God created each and every one of us beautifully and wonderfully. No man is better than any other man. Let's be civil with one another, 'smile!' at each other and get rid of this nonsensical Black Girl Syndrome!

We Look For What's Chasing Us.

'Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere?' To be honest, when Adele sang that song, I was baffled as to what she meant by chasing 'pavements', but now if I was to define it in my own understanding; JUST of the title 'chasing pavements' and in relation to this post, a pavement is another name for a side-walk; out of the way of cars or anything that can run you over; a safe place, your comfort zone. This is what you're chasing. Something that you're used to, something that saves you from all the hustle and bustle you'll have to deal with if you cross the road. At least on the pavement, your requirements don't change, you're content...but are you happy in staying somewhere that doesn't even lead anywhere? Yes it's safe and looking real attractive right now, but it's at a stand still...ain't nothing happening there. Yet, you still chase it. OK so I'm not talking about concrete literally, I'm talking about humans. Women and Men that we love to chase, because they're soo attractive to our eyes; they are our comfort zone, because they make us look good, they make us happy, we get a buzz out of sticking to our typical stand-stills. We get so caught up, that we don't want to explore, we don't want to take a risk, because the roads; the bumpy awkward looking paths ain't our cup of tea.

Every one of us is looking for love...well the majority of us. Some have found it, some have not. For those who have not, I think we are still standing on that pavement, caressing it with our feet. We are chasing after guys or ladies who in reality ain't chasing us. But we stay in that predicament hoping that one day, just ONE day he or she will change their minds and feel the same way that we do. But when each day passes and your situation is still the same; you're thinking about him or her while they get on with their lives and are probably on the verge of hooking up with someone else, that pavement is a lost cause and baby you just gotta cross the road and take a chance on where there is actually hope. I'm sure some of us have been in that situation where we want someone so bad, but at the same time there is that other person that has been after us for quite a while now; but we ignore them, because they are just not our type; that'll be stepping out of our comfort zone, and our love just won't feel safe any more. It could be true that because it's not attractive to us, we step on it and pretend that it's not there any more; but it is. In reality, even though I write this, the truth is we will still chase after those that look attractive to us, you know have that so-called 'swagger' and that smoothness about them, but its just to clarify that we get so caught up in that beautiful smooth exterior, that we forget that it is love we were once chasing. We think we are chasing love, while love is actually chasing us. We just turn a blind eye to it.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't the sole reason as to why some of us are still single. Everyone has their own issues, but then again 'There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven' [Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV]. I'm only but highlighting this particular thing about pursuing love that does happen in every day life. I'm sure that what a person looks for in a partner, is love, to be cared for, protected, treated with respect, to be catered to in every way and much more, and this is what may be pursuing you, while you're pursuing someone who is 'pushing beauty' in the words of Day 26. If we could find it in ourselves to leave our comfort zone, that so attractive place to be and cross the road full of bumps and what we're not used to; I do think there is a possibility that what we originally were looking for; that love, we will find in the destination we once ran from. If you're ready, take a leap across the road. Watch the cars though ;)