1402 ♥

14.02 ... The day where the majority automatically feel to be all luvey duvey! Buying those milk creamy, brown as my skin chocolates, buying those red as blood roses in dozens, getting those cards with messages that are close enough to what your heart feels for that special person in your life and finding a location where you can share that love, spend money to show your partner she or he is worth it... But I don't understand why there has to be ONE specific day where you have to show your love? Valentine defined is 'An expression of affection, especially romantic affection...', must you wait until the 14th of February to show a person what you mean to them? I mean yeah it's nice to be wined and dined on this particular day, who doesn't like to be wined and dined I love it! BUT, like don't just wait until VDay, treat at least every day as a day where you show your sweetheart that you love them. It's like you're saying because the 9th of February hasn't got any special meaning, I don't really have to do anything for you, it's just a normal day. What makes the 14.02 any different? Apart from the fact its been 'labelled' 'VALENTINE'S DAY'...if it wasn't for that label, 14.02 is basically a normal day!

I'm not saying I'm not guilty of treating Valentines Day like the ultimate day where I must go all out, make an effort and spend money, because trust me I am. I would get overly excited, treat it like it was my birthday and if you know me personally, you'd know I LOVE birthdays! I went all out for my ex, bought him gifts, jazzed up the location where we'd be spending Valentines', cooked dinner, organised a slow jam playlist, made sure everything was on point; even made sure the theme was 'red' :) Yeah I was a little excited. But I realised that this day lasts for 24 hours, like all other days...why didn't I do this the day before, or the day after? What difference would it make, the fact I did it on the 14th? Love is love. It shouldn't be defined only on one day!

And another thing, Valentines' Day gets single people depressed! OK well most of them anyway. They feel like if they don't have a date, or a boyfriend or girlfriend or just a partner, then they are lonely in life. Why did it take this day for you to realise that you don't have someone to share love with and you suddenly become depressed? You didn't have someone yesterday and the day before that and the day before that and you were perfectly fine, so what's the matter now? My friend showed me a text from a girl who was complaining she had no one to spend Valentines Day with, and it sounded like it was the end of the world! It really isn't. Looking at other couples, and seeing people with gifts obviously will turn you off, but I'm sure they were once in your position, and I'm sure your time will come and you will find your prince charming or your princess lovely. In the mean time, learn to love yourself! Be happy! Treat yourself and feel good about yourself. Know that the greatest love is GOD...God is love [1 John 4:8]; in fact God showed us the most perfect love in John 3:16 'For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.' This is wonderful love, because God sacrificed his only Son, so that we may live long. J Moss says in his song 'Know Him': 'He gave His only Son to save us, would you have done the same for haters?' See, He loves us unconditionally. So, even if you haven't got that person to wine and dine you...the greatest love is God and that should be enough for you.

Don't let 1402 get you down, Remember 0316 instead :)

Love Don't Live Here.

I step out. And as my shield from exposure, from disappointment, from disgrace, from confusion...I wear my mask. The mask of pretence. The mask that the world believes and knows. The mask that carries me each living day, that saves me from heartache, breaking down with tears everlasting, lasting until there isn't an ounce of hope any more. Except it is not a mask to you. It is what you think is me or rather know is me. There isn't anything strange, it is just a normal average day and everything seems fine. I glance and prance at the behaviours of different people surrounding me. Breathing in and soaking up the personalities and practicalities of these individuals. I wonder, do they wear the mask that I wear. Or is it real? Do they know who they really are. Are they satisfied? Do they believe that they are content. Content with the abilities that they possess? Do they have love, a love that nurtures them from head to toe, that protects them from hurt, that assures them to be comfortable in whatever they do and wherever they are... The mask becomes me, and I become the mask. I tend to forget that I am wearing this mask, this shield from exploring and discovering 'who is me'. The world moves quickly and ignorantly and I move with it. When I am awake,I have to face the hustle and bustle of this green earth, the stress and press giving false interpretations of the happenings in this world. I move with it, and forget who I am. I forget why I am here. Their personality becomes mine, and mine evaporates into thin air. If only I remember what it was that I am. What makes me me. Why I should be loved and why I could be loved. Yet I hide behind this mask. This beautiful carved mask that I have adapted to. It mirrors my face so perfectly it seems invisible, it is my companion, my comfort zone, a place where I can hide and not feel vulnerable to the secrets of this earth. I smile and they interpret it as 'content', that I am fine, that everything is in place and there isn't a twinkling of doubt, sorrow, uncertainty, hurt, loneliness that lies comfortably behind that smile; behind that beautifully carved mask. What they do not know is that...Love don't live here.

I step in. And I let my guard down. I finally take of this mask that took much effort and bravery to wear. The outline and wrinkles made by this mask, have imprinted themselves on to my face. I wear it everyday, my face has grown into it. I'm no longer me, I no longer look like me. Pretence has divided me from reality. From the satisfaction of being me. From knowing what I am capable of and from what I am actually worth. Without the mask, I know there is more. That I need to look further. Further into what makes me stand out, what differentiates me from the rest, why I am an important feature of this land. Why God put me here. I know that I need to look beyond the mask. I know that I need to stop hiding under pretence. Pretence of thinking I know who I am and what I want. With this mask, I settle for less, I look for that comfort zone and I sit in it, 'hoping' for things to be better for things to escalate into greatness. I wait, when I should be walking into greatness. This mask. Allowing me to accept hurt, to accept defeat, to accept luke-warmness, to accept something that is not me. I need to complete my destiny. But when love don't live here, who am I? Love don't live here, so I must go out and search for it. Bring it home. To love myself, to love what I do, to be loved unconditionally, then I will no longer wear this mask. I must find myself.

No More Limelight!

So, a person you've discovered happens to take interest in you all of a sudden, but you think nothing of it, because you definitely do not feel the same way. BUT then as time goes by, this attraction the person has towards you is growing each day. You find that they keep calling you, texting you, PINGing you, skyping you and clicking 'LIKE' on your photos on Facebook...and then finally they admit to liking you [as if that wasn't quite obvious]; from when you're getting 30 notifications on Facebook that ALWAYS without fail include his/her name. Seems like stalkerage doesn't it? And you find that it gets really irritating and full on and you just can't hack the fatal attraction any more. HOWEVER, deep down and be honest to yourself you're loving the attention #FACT. How do I know you're loving the attention? Because if you didn't want to be bothered any more and was completely not interested in anything the person had to offer; instead of you putting up with the constant hollering, you would tell that person straight-up...I DON'T LIKE YOU. NEVER DID. NEVER WILL. LEAVE ME BE. OK, so not in a rude and blunt manner, but you let them know in a gentle and kind yet clear message that you do not feel the same way and they shouldn't really waste their time. If you do not do this straight away or at all, it means you're LOVING the attention, your basking in the LIMELIGHT! You're loving the fact that this person has nothing else to do with their time, but to spend it on you and you only. You're loving the compliments, the kind gestures, the fact that you're their type, the fact that they can't leave you alone, because they are oh so in love with you. And you feel like a princess, you feel loved, YOU ARE LOVING THE LIMELIGHT. Whilst you're cussing them behind their back and getting 'angry', because they're are blowing up your phone, deep down, the attention is getting to your head. You don't love them, but you love the attention. Meanwhile, you don't realise that you're wasting their time, their effort, their love, because you are giving them the impression that they might have a chance with you, that the only reason you're not giving them the time of day, is because you're not ready for anything...but you will be later, and they should have patience. THAT is how they are interpreting the situation and so they do the best they can to win you over faster because they love you that much. You're basically being selfish and inconsiderate.

BUT it gets to a point where a person gets impatient. We all do after some time. Patience is a virtue, but impatience is inevitable; especially in this situation. This person may have a lot of time on their hands, but they are not stupid. After a while they'll figure out that nothing is going to happen, the situation remains the same from day to day, there hasn't been any improvement, it has been a long time and as much as they are giving you the time of day, the time is wasted by night and it's an occurring cycle. Sooo, this person eventually gives up. He or she decides to embark on another journey, a journey where his or her time and effort will be very much appreciated. Like Bow Wow and Chris Brown, he or she 'Ain't thinking about you TONIGHT!' A day goes by and you think nothing of it, a week goes by and you're concerned. A week and a few days go by and you're wondering WHY ON EARTH THIS PERSON HASN'T CALLED YOU? What's going on you think? Is it something you said? Something you did? Did he or she travel? Or did they lose your number? Or is your phone not working. But then your notifications on Facebook have decreased and you're only getting 1 or 2 from unwanted event invitations. Your concern blatantly shows when you for example send him or her a random text... 'Hey, how are you? [smiley face]' and maybe a few hours later you get a reply from that person with 'I'm kool, u?'...THAT'S IT? [That's what you're thinking right?] No more 'babes', no more 'I miss you' no more 'Lets hang out' no more 'You're looking good!' on any of your photos...the hype has died out...

YOU'RE NO MORE IN THE LIMELIGHT! So you've clocked. And it pretty much sucks. You don't have someone falling at your feet any more, this person has decided to spend his or her time elsewhere, no longer interested in trying to achieve your love, the buzz just isn't there any more and so this kind off bugs you a lot. You were loving off the attention and now you're craving it. You miss this person and you realise they meant well, that they had your interest at heart, that they would have been so good to you if you gave them the time of day! Did you seriously think they would spend the rest of their lives pining after you? While you ignored them..did you really think they enjoyed being at a 'stand still', while you moved on with your life, probably chasing after someone else? No. It doesn't work like that. In this case the statement 'You can't have your cake and eat it too' makes a lot of sense. Not everything is about you, you can't treat other people to the advantage of yourself, to make yourself feel better, to feel good. You can't drop someone and pick them up whenever you feel like it, because now YOU ARE ready. Not everything is on your terms! Believe it or not. The world does not revolve around you. Stop being selfish, stop hugging up the limelight. Don't lead people on and make them follow you like some lost little sheep. Be honest from day 1 and consider other people's feelings. Don't expect people to run to you when you click your fingers, it really doesn't work like that :)