EX. The majority of us have 'em! Some of us are still civil with them, some of us still love 'em and some of us detest them with passion! I actually don't think some of us know what the term 'EX' means. To some, it's just a title. It's just a title to give someone we used to date; to label them, so that wherever they go, your friends and family KNOW who he or she is and have our conclusions on what we think about them so that we know how to approach them or not to approach them.
Urban dictionary defines 'EX' as prefix for someone who was or used to be...a FORMER boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or even friend . WAS, USED TO BE, FORMER...these words throw the word PAST into my head, as in GONE ARE THE DAYS WHEN...! When you label someone as your ex, I think maybe they should live up to that name in your life, as in do NOT invite him or her into your life in a similar position to the one they held before. They are an 'ex' for a reason. If you opened your fridge and found that the milk had expired, you're not exactly gonna continue drinking it are you? (Unless you're weird like that) *puke face* A sensible human being will pour the remains down the sink and chuck the container in the bin; not to be used again; because its goodness is in the past. I'm not trying to compare the 'ex' to expired milk (because I'm an ex too), but I'm just giving an example as to why you should not treat your ex as your next. Unless the feeling is mutual and you BOTH want to get back together then fine.
Don't treat your ex as your next. Don't treat your past as your present. It's simple. Sure, I'm not saying you must HATE your ex and cut all ties with him or her. You can stil remain friends. FRIENDS. As in how you girls treat your girlfriends and how you guys treat your mandem. Not friends with benefits, not friends with baggage, not friends with extra usage. Just friends. Some people mix friendships with courtships. There is a CLEAR difference. And if you are trying to move on from your ex, then you will no longer treat them as your present. Yes, you have memories; good and bad ones and you may have shared quite a lot that you have not shared with anyone else, but again, that is in the past, if you choose to hold on to it, then do so, but leave it at home, don't carry it around with you wherever you go. You might as well carry a sign on your head saying 'NOT OVER EX YET, KEEP AWAY'. Until you can say fully 'I'm not into him/her anymore.' and MEAN IT, then you can move on.
An ex doesn't even have to be someone you actually dated, as in a relationship; it could also be someone you were involved with or someone you liked and was in the hopes of becoming something more, but did not quite work out. Girls especially, when we like someone or are partly involved with someone, we tend to get emotionally attached quite easily and quickly; once we're in, it's hard getting out! Some girls put on a front and lie to themselves, saying they're over that, and it's in the past, but in reality if you're still thinking about it or referring back to it and allowing that person to walk all over you, controlling your emotions, then you're not fully over this person. Ex means its done, its finished, move on to the next. Focus your energy on something more fulfilling and positive. Something that shows you you're worth more than the past you call your ex.
There are different types of exes too! There's the CONFUSED one, the USER, the PRETEND-YOU-NEVER-EXISTED-TYPE and the CIVIL ex.
The Confused one doesn't know what they want. They're usually the ones who broke it off too! They even sometimes use the line 'it's not you it's me; to be honest...they're right! It is them. From when they broke it off with you, but yet you find them ringing up your phone, texting you, wanting to know your whereabouts, wanting to know who's taken their place now...it's like you never broke up in the first place. Notice how they're the ones who broke it off, but yet they're still holding on. And this doesn't help you, because you didn't want to end it, yet you're still trying to move on and if this 'past' keeps showing up, it's not exactly easy. An ex of mine once got a little bit jealous, because I happened to be talking to a guy online, who honestly was a friend of mine! It's actually ridiculous.
The User takes advantage of the past. It's pretty simple really. Because THEY KNOW what you guys had together and how special you meant to each other, they use these past feelings to try and manipulate you into thinking they still care and they know you still care too (which means you're not fully over them) and they know this. So they begin to start asking favours, favours they know you'll happily do for them. STOP IT. Stop allowing them to use you, to use the remaining feelings you have for them. They're taking you for a fool, and they've made themselves comfortable in your life. Tell them to get up and leave. You are no longer together and therefore no more bound to them. You do not have an obligation to carry out any task for them and you do have the right to say no. Once you stop doing this and that for them, they will see that you have moved on and they are no longer the center of attention and they must respect your space and privacy.
The Pretend-you-never-existed-type acts like they never had ANYTHING to do with you. It's pretty much that. They treat you like you're just 'Anybody', and what you had in the past does not exist. In a way this is good, because it shows they have DEFINITELY MOVED ON and this should give you motivation and ammunition to do the same, In a way it's bad, because it looks like what you had went to waste, and it's like they never cared for you at all. It's a shame but it happens.
The Civil one accepts that the relationship you had or whatever you had is over BUT they haven't forgotten what you had was special, they still respect you and your space and privacy, they avoid giving you any mixed signals and they become a friend, a friend you can talk to without any fear of complications.
So, basically an ex is an ex for a reason. Leave that in the past, so that you can move on and not be on 'stand-by'. Exes are steps you take, lessons you learn to to have a better future, one that suits you best. :)
