BGS2: Unwanted Attention, Unwanted Attitude

Quote from a guy I know...'Why do Black girls have so much attitude?' Erm, correction all girls have some kind of attitude, not just Black girls. HOOOOWEVER, Black girls have a distinct way of showing it and yes it's not pretty. It's heavy. It stings. It's well, let's just say 'if only looks could kill'...I may be exaggerating, but hey, some will agree that we're like pythons when it comes to attitude! We let you KNOW. KNOW that we're not interested, KNOW that we're not bothered, KNOW that we don't have time for that ish. We have that 'Who run the world' approach. FEISTY. Believe it or not some guys like it; they like a challenge. But for those who do not, it kind of annoys them. And I can understand. If I was a guy, I wouldn't want, as us Nigerians call it WAHALA! Stress. Unnecessary back-lash. I'd be turned off pretty easily. But at the same time you're thinking 'is it necessary?', we're thinking 'is it by force?'

Some girls may not even have attitude to begin with and this may be true, however, the way you come across, body gestures, your vibe, your movements, they all contribute to your first impressions in a guys eyes. A slight 'look up and down' stare may mean 'stay away from me' to a guy and they immediately get the message and don't go further. You may not have meant that, but maybe it's the way you did this action of yours. Be vigilant of your body language at all times. Don't give off the wrong vibe like a real bad fart! I noticed this myself when I attended a party. A guy I met through one of my friends, recognised me from around campus and my friend introduced us at the party. We exchanged pins as we got talking and the next day he thought he'd be honest with me and said he used to think I was (can't remember what word he used) but in other words 'stush'. I was actually surprised and upset by that, because obviously that's not the kind of impression I want to give people. Then I thought back to the times I saw him on campus, mainly in the Library where my friend would see him and engage in conversation. Me on the other hand basically 'minded my own business' every time this occurred. I have this habit and theory in mind that if I don't know you, then I'm not gonna bother making an effort. Bad I know. I can be anti-social to the core when I want to be :(. But yeah, it basically got me thinking that every action I carry out and vibe I give out, people pick up on this and make their own evaluation and it may be an evaluation that the average person would think of you. So if this guy thought I was a stush person before he started getting to know me, then I wonder what the other people at the party was thinking or have been thinking if they see me about. Just because people smile at you, don't think they're not evaluating you in their minds!

Some guys find it difficult or don't bother at all approaching black girls, because of the looks, the gestures and the vibes they give off. They give that unwanted attitude, that many guys are aware of and have to be on their guard. In all honesty, some girls give off this rude approach; for example, at a rave, because the guy approaching them, isn't their cup of tea and do not wish to be bothered by them, because all night they've been eyeing that ONE guy...or two, in the hopes that they would notice and approach them instead. However, this one guy who decides to try his luck comes and so obviously the girl ain't pleased. So therefore, she's going to give that cold, hard 'dutty' stare that says 'NOT INTERESTED, GO AWAY!', with the whole hip-movement and head rolling! If you read one of my earlier posts entitled 'You're Buttaz Anyway', the defence line for the guy might be the typical 'you're buttaz anyway', a group of black girls can be intimidating, you gotta do something to help yourself I guess...

But one thing that annoys guys is that not every guy that comes up to you randomly is itching for your digits...maybe they just need to enquire about something or they're trying to be sociable. This is why some are labelled 'stuck up', because they think every guy wants to get with them and sometimes you just need to bring your head out of the clouds every now and then. A friend of mine was telling me that he was trying to approach a girl, because she had dropped her oyster card on the floor, and he was only trying to give it to her. As he was trying to get her attention, the girl refused to give him the time of day, kissing her teeth, rolling her eyes and trying to walk off, so the guy got angry and gave up. Being fast can slow your brain down a little!

So now it's Summer. The hotter the season, the less clothes you see on road. Obviously you're not going to wear a turtle neck in this hot weather, unless you want to sweat buckets BUT it doesn't mean you have to wear something close to a bikini (unless you're on the beach) and NOT expect to get unwanted attention. If you don't want unnecessary attention, cover up a little. You don't have to wear close to nothing to look beautiful, you can still look beautiful and be covered in the correct places. So, if you're wearing leggings with a top that doesn't cover your bum AT ALL, don't give attitude to unwanted attention, you brought it on yourself. I mean if you go raving and you're happy with what you're wearing and know you're bound to get unwanted attention, deal with it in a way that doesn't make you look like you have BGS, show that you have class, manners and respect in the way you approach people and change the stereotype that guys have of Black girls!

Check part 1 entitled 'Black Girl Syndrome [BGS]' if haven't already done so :)
http://ceedaniels.blogspot.com/2010/12/black-girl-syndrome-bgs.html