Expiry Date

When you see 'expiry date' you automatically think about food don't you? Most foods have a shelf life which is the length of time for which an item remains usable, fit for consumption, or saleable. Until the date comes where it's no more good to eat, it's gone off and it's time for it to be thrown away...unless you like your food tasting funny and enjoy getting food poisoning 0_o. But no, this post isn't about food expiring; it's about FRIENDSHIPS or any sort of RELATIONSHIP expiring. Yes RELATIONSHIPS with different people also have EXPIRY DATES.It sounds silly comparing relationships to food, but there are similarities regarding the day they EXPIRE.

The Bible says there is a time and a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1) and you find yourself in situations where things are no more the same...well there is a reason as to why things happen in life. You may find yourself in situations that are good or bad, but even the bad can be good for you. It may not seem like it at the time, but as time goes on, you realise 'if it wasn't for this...that could never have happened for me' So supposing you've been in a relationship, that you find you are not happy in, partner treats you badly and it suddenly ends; yes this is a hard time for you, but eventually you find it makes you stronger, you know what not to do, where not to go; not to take that kind of rubbish anymore, and you find a better partner, because you have managed to better yourself and love yourself. In the words of Beyonce 'Thank God you blew it, Thank God I dodged a bullet...Thank God I found the GOOD in goodbye'. You say bye, but you keep the good! It had an expiry date, so that you could move on and not dwell in the past or remain stagnant.

Same goes with friendships. People come and go in your life. Ever heard of the phrase 'You are the company you keep'? Well the people you associate yourself with, contribute to the person you are. Some people are easily influenced as well, and if they socialise with people who are not exactly oozing positivity, then they're likely to be dragged down. Friendships come and go, and some friendships have a time where they no longer exist. It could be that, those people are dragging you down, or spreading negativity or just really weren't your friends in the first place. There are people who are jealous and decide to stay friends with you, because they know how influential they are, you'll listen to any advice (likely down-putting) that they give and you don't realise it. An incident will happen where your eyes are open to what kind of company you keep and make the decision that it's time to move on in order to upgrade and make something of your life. People come and contribute to your life in many ways, either to better you or to make you learn and become stronger. Some friendships are just not meant to be; you need to think to yourself 'What is influencing my life and is it bettering me?'

Everyone has a different purpose in life and things happen for a reason, people come in and out for a reason. Even though it may sound selfish, you need to think of yourself more, like they say 'it's every man for themselves' and if you need to move from a certain area in your life, then don't hesitate and just DO it. 21:03's Everybody Can't Go says 'If they all go left, maybe you should go right...everybody can't go where you need to go, gotta separate your life in order to grow'

Not all foods have expiry dates though, and that is like some friendships and relationships. There are people who God chooses to be around you, because they ooze positivity and help better you in many ways. There are people that God uses in your life and vise versa. But it's up to you to ask God to open your eyes. Be vigilant. :)

We're 51! : (2) Movies

Nigerian Movies! Oh gosh...there's a lot I could say about them. But we'll be here forever, so I'll only touch on some typical-ness! I've been watching Nigerian films since I was a baby and I've seen all sorts. From the romance, to comedy, to action, to horror. And those of you that have watched Nigerian films, know that they love to repeat the story-lines with a little twist. So they become predictable. We know what happens from beginning to end, from when the film eventually starts. Not gonna lie though, Nigerian films have come a long way and have slightly improved. But then I guess it depends on the actresses and actors they use, because some are really good, some are just...let's just say I don't understand how they got into the film industry :/.

When I was younger, my Mum usually watched the religious ones, the ones that had a lot of scary looking witches and wizards and that one Baba that people would go seek advise and rituals from, from within the forest. These films used to SCARE me! Like I'd probably cry, but then I was young. I didn't know that they only used white, red or black paint to cover their faces, black cloths to cover their bodies and what some typical Nigerians would call 'film trick' to show magical powers. There was one in particular that had like a 1000 parts to it called (and I don't know the spelling) 'ABARANLA'...This movie SCARED the heck out of me! There was always this person betrayed as the devil that would just pop up in the forest and move about like he was an alien and say all sorts; I think he was chanting for like 20 minutes in the beginning of the film and then quickly disappear into thin air. It sounds really dumb, but as a kid, this gave me nightmares, ha! I hated Nigerian horror movies as I grew up, because I knew how FAKE it looked and it was obvious as to what equipment they used to TRY and make it look scary. Now you've got witches under water like THE GREAT MISTAKE which also had sooo many parts and you get like cults and the list goes on.

An annoying aspect of Nigerian films is the amount of time they WASTE when it comes to starting the movie. LIKE FOR REAL, this REALLY bugs me! When you buy Nigerian DVDs, I know you people that buy them don't buy just ONE DVD right? There's like Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and maybe Part 4. -_-. Why? Well, firstly even though some Nigerian movies have moved on from this nonsense; some STILL have that annoying rainbow of colours at the beginning with the long squeeky sound...God knows why. Then the ADVERTS. And Oh My Days, the adverts take up to an hour of the DVD with someone (usually a man) SHOUTING probably in Yoruba advertising the 'coming soon' films. This actually gives me a headache. Then as if you haven't waited a while already, when the film finally starts, the credits take another 30 minutes with the most annoying music that they've created SPECIFICALLY for the film e.g. *in song* 'Angelina has no home, she cheated, she lied, she suffered...Angelina has no home', so basically the intro music has already told you what happens in the film. THEN THE FILM FINALLY STARTS.

Another thing. You can't even hear the actors or actresses lines half the time. Why? Because the producers of the film, feel the need for music to be played every two minutes and it's louder than what the actors are saying. Goodness sake. And has anyone noticed that the producers of Nigerian films are addicted to the likes of Westlife and Celine Dion? Sometimes Joe? Like there are NO other artists in the world?

This one right here, cracks me up. You ever get those heated scenes in the action type films, where for example the husband and wife are arguing and all of a sudden the husband slaps the wife in which they use sound effects to make it seem more dramatic...and then what happens? She falls on the floor, fakes a heart attack and dies... How on earth do you die instantly from a slap? Can someone explain this to me...please. Then you get the LONGEST scenes ever when someone dies and they have like 30 minutes showing the family mourning and the aunts with their drama queen crying and shouting and falling all over the place or in the romantic films when they show the man and woman in various places being all lovey dovey (usually on the beach, maybe on a horse...?!)

The endings of Nigerian films. The majority of them? EPIC FAIL. That or it's just predictable. The endings get on my NERVES! There's literally only ONE film that I'm satisfied about, but the rest. FAIL. They end it in a way that it makes no sense or you just feel that the film hasn't really ended and you feel there should be another part, there probably is, but you can't find it...so you basically wasted two hours trying to figure out the outcome and you get no answers. Very frustrating. And then to top it off, they; without fail, say WE GIVE GOD ALL THE GLORY...*Sigh*

All these aspects of Nigerian films, although frustrating, it's also what we love about them. It's kind of hilarious and typical, but we gotta love some of the actresses and actors they use. We have some favourites: (In this order: Stella Damascus, Ini Edo, Genevieve Nnaji, Omotola, Mercy Johnson, Desmond Elliot, Pat Attah, Richard Mofe-Damijo) The list goes on! We have many talented Nigerian actors and actresses and despite the funny habits of Nigerian films; I'm very proud to be Nigerian!


















Happy Nigerian Independence Day! x

We're 51! : (1) Hairdressers.

Just a little humor and banter.

I know for a FACT that most of us have experienced the typical NIGERIAN HAIRDRESSERS EXPERIENCE! And we can all relate to the kind of nonsense that they do, but laugh about it. I live in South and near Peckham and those of you that live near there or in there, are likely to go do your hair in those parts of Peckham. Not all of you I know, some of you, but wherever you go, there is always a Nigerian hairdresser about. But in Peckham, most of the hairdressers are situated in Peckham Rye Lane, right next to each other, so you'll see a lot of Nigerian women hovering about. These women make me laugh. They really do know how to hussle! Any opportunity they get, they jump at it, and I rate them for this!

Hoooowever, it can get annoying, when you're walking down the road, minding your own business, you know maybe doing a little shopping and you're browsing too. When ALL of a sudden all you hear is 'HELLO AUNTY...WANT TO DO YOUR HAIR?', and it's not like it's a calm normal tone of voice they use; it's a SHOUT to you from across the road. They keep at it, until you answer them back. It's kind of embarrassing, because even though you didn't plan on doing your hair that day, but your hair is looking one kind, you get those people that like to stare and probably thinking 'girl, I think you need to say yes'. One minute you're minding your own business, the next you're the centre of attention, because these hairdressers are trying to get their moneys! And say if your hair was already freshly done, these women don't take that into consideration, they will still call on you and it looks bad on you, it's like 'well, what are you trying to say?' The best thing to do, since us girls know it's bound to happen when you walk past these salons is keep walking and ignore, because they will try their hardest to persuade you to come and do your hair!

Another funny thing about Nigerian Hairdressers, is the actual shop itself. It's not just a hair salon...it's GOSSIP CENTRAL, NIGERIAN DVD SHOP and a NURSERY. You can even get your nails did on the side. It's also a RAVE. There are SOOO many people in the shop, from aunties to uncles to people selling all kinds of things from clothes to food. And we all know, that typical Nigerians don't like to talk to each other quietly, even if they're face to face. They like to SHOUT over each other and you wonder how they can all hear each other, especially as they also have a nigerian dvd playing on full volume. And these uncles tend to have very deep voices, and when it's loud, it vibrates the room! Then to top it off, you have the NURSERY of kids, screaming, crying, shouting, running all over the place and it's just like *HEADACHE*

Nigerian Hairdressers like to take the mick sometimes as well. I've had a situation where I booked my appointment for 1pm, came at 1pm, and there were like 5 people waiting to do their hair by the same woman. And yes I had to wait for one that was supposed to come in the morning, but came late and because of her lateness, my appointment has to be delayed. I waited for at least 2 hours, because she kept saying 'I'm Coming...', kept apologising and it was just like if you knew you were gonna be busy, why you tell me to come at 1pm?? *Sigh*
Another thing, when you ARE doing your hair, some of these Hairdressers like to take more of a mick and be RELAXED, whilst doing your hair. So you're in the middle of doing your hair and she stops and says 'I'm coming, I just want to quickly get some things from the shop...' QUICKLY means she's doing FULL BLOWN FOOD SHOPPING before the shops close and you're there waiting with half hair done. It's always worse if the hairdresser has little kids, because they come along too and you know kids ALWAYS want attention.

Little things like this occur all the time, but you can't help but just laugh at it and get used to it as long as your hair gets done. The most amount of time I've spent at the hairdressers is 8 hours; morning til evening, but at the end of the day, the end result is great; well depends on your hairdresser, but some of them do have skills!

It's typical, but funny.

HAPPY NIGERIAN INDEPENDENCE x

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