I Can't Make You Love Me.

'You can't make your heart feel something it won't'. Although, that song wasn't originally sung by Tank, it's the version I adore, and those that know me, know I LOVE Tank! But this isn't about him; slightly going off track there. I also find the lyrics intriguing, because it has real life written all over it. Love is a part of our lives. It's what made us. It's what brings us together. It's what keeps us sane. Well it's supposed to. It should keep you sane when it's real. Unfortunately, the term love is used so loosely, so carelessly; without careful consideration as to the impact it has on the person you're using it on. The word love is powerful, so when it leaves your tongue, please believe it will have a profound effect on an individual. Don't be deceived by a slight smile or no reaction on the face whatsoever. Internally, it's made a change on someones true feelings. Kirk Franklin sang about love and in that song he said 'Love...a word that comes and goes, but few people really know, what it means to really love somebody...' THIS is true. I mean, there are so many definitions of love and to society, different types of love. But some individuals use the word love just for the sake of it.

I believe the true definition of love comes from the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. In verse 6 it states that 'love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth and in verse 8 'love never fails'. I highlighted verse 6 because it associates love with the TRUTH. Truth is to be honest, right? So, what gets me, is when people use the word love loosely and don't actually mean it. It becomes an everyday word. Just a word like 'it' 'is' 'they' 'are' and so on. I'm not going to excuse myself either, because I've used it loosely too. Nobody is perfect. But I've thought about that word a lot lately and it runs deeper than words. If someone says they love you, they need to show you and it should come naturally. It shouldn't be forced. You shouldn't feel obligated to say the word 'love' to someone. It shouldn't come from your head, but from your heart. In your mind, your thinking about it. You're over assessing it, or worse, under assessing it and you start playing the guessing game. You then apply it to the situation you're in, the person you're involved with and take their feelings into consideration.

Some people use the word love, because they feel bad if they don't say it to that particular person and are afraid of losing them or simply just to keep them happy for various reasons; probably because it'll be beneficial to them if you know what I mean. I feel that if you are not sure, then don't say it at all. You can still be affectionate towards someone without having to lie about loving them. Love is a stage you reach with someone. How can you love someone you hardly know? People sometimes use the L word, in general terms; in a happy moment, where the statement is more of a spur of the moment. And some people use the word love, because they 'love' what they see in front of them. This is mistaking love for lust. The only organ in your body that you should check for love, is your heart.

Careful who you're dealing with as well. Because once the term love is used, a person can automatically feel that this is it. Or this is going in the direction that they want it to go. There's hope. However, some individuals use that term as a weapon, as a trick to get what they want. It's used as a password to enter...some may say the bedroom, but it can be used for anything, depends on the person's intentions. But because love is more important to some than others; they become too trusting and fall into the trap. Being young and naive ring a bell?

Also, I don't know if this is just me, but I've always had this theory that when a person you're seeing, but haven't been seeing for a long time suddenly says 'love you', I really feel like it hasn't got true meaning behind it. Almost like, as I mentioned before, like its obligatory. If you DO love someone for real, I feel the statement should be said without laziness; include yourself in the sentence - 'I LOVE YOU'. 'Love you' seems like you're thinking 'let me just say it for all time sake', put a little smile on their face...but omitting the 'I' makes your statement smell of a little doubt. If you love someone, put your all into it. If you don't love them yet, save it for the time that you actually do.

You can't make someone love you, it has to come from within. All this materialistic business that people dive into, thinking when they come up, they've won the heart of that person. 'Money can't buy love'. Furthermore, you should never feel that you have to say those words 'I love you' if you don't want to. Unless someone is holding a gun to your head, there is no specific time or a limited amount of time in where you have to tell someone you love them. There is a time and a place for everything. You don't jump into a car, start the engine and move on to the road when you haven't had driving lessons yet, do you? Unless, you're slightly crazy...

It takes time to build that kind of relationship. Love is a journey you take, you may have bumps and diversions on the way, but you will reach your destination, because 'love never fails'.