He Becomes Them.

*WAVES*

Been a LONG while, I know. I sort of got lazy and left this blog 'fi dead'. But I thought let me try and revive it and annoy you guys with my opinions once again - sound good to you?

Anyway, things have changed since my last post and when I say things have changed, I meant with me, because I am no longer just 'me', I am now in a committed and loving relationship and it's almost been two years, woohoo! Only God knows how he does it...

But talking of new relationships and that, even though it can be a blessing, finding that special someone, it can also prove to be an issue. For who? Your friends, your pals, your co-d's, your homies, whatever. Why? Because for some reason you automatically do a disappearing act, like you're a magician.

I know you all know what I' talking about. People moan about it, but I know those people have done it too, they just don't realise it. Everyone does it. No one is excused from this super duper magic trick. It's a part of finding love at long last.

But whyyyy does it happen?

I'll tell you. Then I'll tell you why your friends shouldn't complain and why you shouldn't let it get to you.

1. It's courting season:

There's summer, there's winter, there's autumn and there's spring, but there's also a season of 'courting' when you meet someone. This is the 'getting to know you' period, where both parties are figuring each other out - whether they are crazy, a psychopath or just plain ol' boring like you. This is also the 'let me impress you' period, where in my opinion, whoever did the pursuing (as I've written about before), has the chance to pull out all the stops including a trip to Paris, all expenses paid (no, I'm joking, but would be nice), to prove to the other party, that they are serious about them and wants to be with them. It's like putting your best into an assignment given by your teacher so you can achieve that glorious A. The A in this case, is the relationship, that one day may turn into marriage, who knows... The point is, both parties need this time, to engage with one another, to spend time with each other and decide whether they want to pursue a relationship together.

Now this isn't all calculated like a scientific project, I'm sure no one has a calendar of dates for this process on their walls (unless you're weird), so when your mates are like 'you have no time for me - you always do this when you get involved with someone', tell them to chill, tell them to have several seats in the words of Tamar Braxton. You have a life and in this moment in time, a bit of your energy is focused on what could be a lifetime goal. I'm not saying completely dismiss your friends, because you now have a man/woman, but they should understand the situation, and you know take a backseat for now, so that you can focus on this new journey you've started. It's natural to feel guilty, but let's not lie, guilt is the last thing on your mind when you're enjoying the view in front of you...

2. You're slowly getting your groove back:

So you're now in the middle of this new romance and you're liking the energy it brings. This is the 'honeymoon' period. These are the icky times. The 'let me mush your face with my lips' times. Those couples who make everyone want to regurgitate the meal they just had. You're allowed not to care. You're allowed to be happy and bask in the sunshine of it all. Because once the honeymoon period is up...it's up. You better enjoy it while you can. When you get married and you go on your honeymoon, no one is there to be disturbing you, yes? But because this isn't the real honeymoon, your mates don't see why you can't come out with them and get smashed - they need to realise that, this is the pre-honeymoon, practice for the real honeymoon (not all things included by the way) - let's not get excited here. But when I say pre-honeymoon, I mean this is the first time where you can really enjoy each other's company and just have the time of your life. You also do this on your real honeymoon, but you're revisiting each other after a ring's been put on it.
Your mates are also special people in your life, but if they are a good friend, they'll let you get on with it and trust that you haven't forgotten about your other relationships - this is just time for you. Why can't you do both you say? Because when you've invested your time in something important, you want to make sure it stays afloat. And this takes a bit of time. You can't rush greatness.

3. Oh look, it's a cloud!:

To be quite frank...most of the time...you don't even realise you're doing it. I didn't. Until, a friend of mine was like 'I've been ghost'. I was just like 'what are you talking about?' Stop being so dramatic. Then I realised, wait. I do it all the time. But then I also realised, wait - you do it too! We can all point fingers, but at the end of the day, it's a life cycle. You meet someone, you develop interest, you get enveloped in romance, and forget about the world. You're on cloud 9. Forgive me for being extra happy and high on lurve. It's not every day, 'let's go for a drink', sometimes 'kiss and chill'. If you have a friend who is constantly moaning and complaining, first of all, your company must be off the hook, but at the same time, you should be a little concerned. They need to realise that your sudden disappearing act, isn't intentional and you'll be back, unless you don't like them. But if and when they get a man or lady and do the same thing, maybe you should make the same complaint on a billboard, just so they get it.

I'm just saying, when someone does a disappearing act on you, there must be a valid reason as to why they have done so (in my case with the blog, my reason wasn't valid, I apologise), but don't get all 'baby with a tantrum' because every now and then, we must live our lives and sometimes this involves a fine guy or lady that just happens to take our breath away, so we gotta investigate what's going on...

Ya dig?