So this has been an issue for guys in general - understanding a woman and her feelings. Men in general always complain about women complaining and women complain that men don't understand why they're complaining - it's a never ending cycle my friend. Quite frankly, men don't like it when women are 'all in their feelings' or 'emotional'. I think it's a hassle for them. They don't want to have to deal with the 'nitty gritty' of situations on top of the every day issues they already receive. TOUGH. You can't run away from things that need attention, that need watering; you can't brush it under the carpet and pretend the house is spotless. It doesn't work like that. What's that they say? All things hidden will come to light. And that includes the mess you've made that may come back and bite you in the butt. So you might as well deal with it head on. Fortunately and maybe unfortunately for you, women can be quite observant - maybe sometimes, too observant, but I believe it's better to call it out, than to believe there's nothing there and ignore those feelings. Yes, some may call it paranoia - but I think I'd prefer to be paranoid than oblivious. You wouldn't want to miss something that when sorting, can avoid a messy break up.
Men, please believe, we don't want to annoy you and pester you and nag you 24/7 - it's not our intention. We too, want to live a happy and pest free life. But there are certain things that you men do that can be seen as unnecessary and quite frankly stupid. For example, if you're in a relationship and have a certain female friend who loves to, how did Beyoncé put it, 'kiss up and rub up and feel up' on you and you see NO WRONG in that, then there's a problem. There are certain limitations, an unwritten rule in these type of circumstances. Don't give the excuse of 'oh she's like that with everyone'...that's fine, she can be like that with everyone...excluding you. It's about having respect for your other half. Things like this, need attention, and when attention is applied, a pointless argument can be avoided. Resulting in less nagging, more nurturing.
We as women too, have a lot that goes on in our minds - and as humans, we all tend to overthink sometimes. In my opinion, a cause of stress. So, because of this, we don't always want to think for you, do you know what I'm saying? We're trying to teach you to use your initiative, we can't baby you and so you have to pay attention. ATTENTION is the key word in this post, if you haven't noticed already. If you genuinely don't know what's wrong, then fair enough, but some men do know deep down, but on the surface act like what's wrong to the woman isn't that much of a big deal. Listen, it may not be a big deal to you, but it is to them, and you owe them that much to at least sit down and hear them out. Then you can address it together. Don't dismiss it, walk out or laugh it off, you'll just make things worse. Life can be quite simple you know, just...pay attention.
When a woman is fed up, it can resort to the 'silent treatment' or saying things they don't actually mean. I can admit, this must be irritating, but at the same time, it can be quite fulfilling...just quite petty, I know. Such is life. The whole 'silent treatment' can, however, be beneficial. It allows for time to ponder, a moment for space and clarity. If you're lucky, the woman might eventually see she's being irrational after some time to think on the situation and will eventually apologise. If you're not so lucky, then you definitely did something wrong.
Everyone has a bit of pride in them, and that means we don't want to succumb to our real feelings, so we say what we don't actually mean, here are some examples for you guys out there struggling to understand or actually believing what your woman is saying:
'I'm fine...' = 'I'm so mad at you right now, but I don't want to get into it right now, 'cause we'll probably argue for hours'
What men probably respond with: 'Ok cool' [then proceed in telling you about their day]
What you should do just in case she's not 'fine':
- Ask them 'are you sure?', this may provoke the real answer, maybe not right away, but it shows that you genuinely care and that you notice a change in their facial expression or behaviour.
- Confront them face on, let them know you know they aren't fine and if they still refuse, then at least you tried. That will just mean you need to let them be stubborn for a bit, before they confess.
'Ok...' = 'You still haven't answered my question about 'so and so' or 'you've forgotten my birthday' or 'something has happened, I'm just not in the mood to talk right now'
What men probably respond with: [...proceed in telling you about their day]
What you should do just in case things aren't actually 'ok':
- Yes this may be long, but try and remember if there was anything you forgot that involved her, check your calendar if you have to; check back through your texts from yesterday or simply ask how they are - figure it out.
'No, you're right...' = 'You'll soon realise your mistake and that I was right, but go on with your bad self' :)
What men probably respond with: [...as usual, believe they ARE right and go on about their business]
What you should do just in case you may not be 'right':
- Think about your actions before you proceed
- Weigh up the pros and cons
- Study your woman's face when she says 'no, you're right' - the evidence is in the pudding; she may also have a chilled undercover sarcastic tone to her statement
'This is all long' 'Are you kidding me?' 'I'm not doing all that'...is probably what you're thinking right now - but relationships are hard work - it isn't a bag of candy all day every day.
Study each other, learn from each other and communicate with one another.
Now because some of you are just stubborn, think you're right regardless - it goes through one ear and out the other and you end up interpreting what we're saying into rubbish. To you, we've talked about Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, when really we're still on Monday, but you're refusing to take our point seriously. So yes we're going to go off on a tangent and refer back to previous times you've committed this thing that she's arguing about. It doesn't mean we've accepted defeat, it doesn't mean we've realised that we don't have a point - it simply means that since you're not getting it, we've gotta go back to square one and collate evidence. It's like being in court. You can't come and argue a case without any evidence to back it up. You'll look like an idiot in front of the jury who have probably made up their minds already - the guy. Since it looks like her point isn't going anywhere, and you're there busy smirking, of course my girl is going to bring up the past, because you've provoked her and you've just gone and pissed her off at the same time.
